it is never a disgrace to say, ‘i can not afford it.’ it is shameful to commit yourself to expenditure you know you can not really afford and should not make – just because someone else urges you to go against your own better judgment. i have respect for the person for who can say without any self-consciousness at all, simply and cheerfully, ‘i can not afford it.’ but i hate to hear a long-drawn-out explanation of why . as a matter of fact, we should never demand to know why a person can not spend money on something he says he can not afford unless there is s sound reason for his finding some way to afford it. then you may, if you feel you should, try to show him that way, quietly and without irritating him.